Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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