help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
