Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
