Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
did you just send me my own nude
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
