I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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