Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
