This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
