i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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