Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize