Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
