her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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