Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
