I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
