I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
