dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
