Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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