Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
