i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
