Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
