I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
