we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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