Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
