he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
