Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
