smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
