why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
