He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
