Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
