so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
did you just send me my own nude
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize