So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize