I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
