Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
