Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
