You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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