WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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