Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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