i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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