Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Vodka?
Forever.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
