And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
