Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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