I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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