Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
