Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
