Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
