Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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