a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
