Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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