he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
