My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
