make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
