So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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