It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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