She said her name was "party"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
