there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can I color on your dick again?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
