New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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