I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
