They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
