i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
