Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
