im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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