Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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