But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize