Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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