i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
