What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he was CRYING into my vagina
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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