idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
